5 Ways To Get Your Kid To Listen

You’re nagging, they’re ignoring.  You’re tired of your words having no impact on your children.  Here are five tips to start turning things around.

Communication is the key to many situations in life — so why should talking to your kids be any different?  The use of words in helping your children to develop well and to be disciplined cannot be underestimated.  But the problem often lies in the how and the what of what we say.  You’ll be surprised — there’s a lot a parent can accomplish with the right tone of voice.

Here are 5 ways to help you get your toddler to do what you want.

1.  Get to her level
Just as much as we hate it when people talk to us standing up when we’re sitting down (and looking at their belly button), children feel talked down to (read: nagged) when you tower over them and bark instructions.

To engage your child fully, squat or sit till you are at her level, then maintain eye-to-eye contact to get her attention.  Teach her how to focus: “Sandy, I need your eyes to look here.”  Reciprocate with the same posture and non-verbal contact when she’s talking to you.

2.  Keep it short and simple
Observe how kids communicate with each other and learn.  Use short sentences with one-syllable words.  “Joshua, bring your cup here.”

When you see your kid’s eyes glaze over and she begins to look away, you’ve lost her — she has no idea what you’re babbling on about.  The more you go on, the more used to not listening to you your child becomes.  What she’s feeling is that you don’t know what you want to say.  So why listen?

How to test if your child understood what you just said to her?  Ask her repeat it back to you.  If she can’t, it’s too complicated.

3.  Let’s make a deal
You are rushing for time, and your toddler won’t get dressed because her pajamas just feel oh-so-comfy.  Instead of snapping “Get dressed NOW!  We’re late!”, reason with her in a way that she gets a benefit out of obeying, like “Julia, get dressed now so we can get in the car and go to the park.”  If the deal sounds good, your toddler will listen.  (But this is not licence to trick or bribe – make the deal only if you have intentions to keep it!  And don’t make ice-cream the reward for everything.)

4.  Use positives
They say, for every “Yes” a child hears, he hears 50 “No’s”.  Flip your words for the positive. Instead of “Stop making noise!” try:  “When we’re in the house, we are quiet.  When we’re outside, you can be as loud as you like!”

5.  Do, then say
Ever tried shouting “Turn off the TV, it’s dinner time!”?  Did it work?  Not likely. To show your kid you mean what you say, go to the TV room, sit and watch with your kid for a few minutes, then turn off the TV at an appropriate break and escort her to the dinner table.