Do Life Better: Watch Your Mouth

Some of us are unaware of how much impact our words have on others, and we may end up with our foot in our mouth, or worse still, deeply hurting others or ruining relationships. As the wise Benjamin Franklin once said, “Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

By: Melanie Lee

We’ve all been there before — saying the wrong things at the wrong time. An awkward silence, a sense of unease, a look away, and you suddenly wish that the floor could just swallow you up so you don’t have to deal with the consequences of that highly inappropriate remark you just made. “But I’m not a bad person,” you might say, but why is it you seem to rub people the wrong way? If this sounds like you, here are some pointers to keep your mouth in check:

Think before you speak.
You’ve definitely read this before, but there’s no harm drumming this through again, especially since verbal diarrhea seems to be quite a common condition amongst women! This is especially so when we stop watching what we say with our loved ones and close friends because we’ve become so familiar with them. However, remember that once the words leave your mouth, you can never get them back again.

Agree to disagree.
Hurtful words tend to be spewed while expressing differences in opinions. This is usually because you get defensive about making your own viewpoint “win”, and in turn become dismissive. Ultimately, this leads to some nasty judgment calls made out in the open. However, it’s all about the mindset, if you see these differences as an exchange of ideas, and you respect the opinions of others, then you don’t have to unleash your artillery of rude, presumptuous words.

Joke discerningly.
Often, we use humour to break the ice and to make our conversations with each other more interesting and personable. However, this can backfire if you crack jokes too obviously at the expense of other peoples’ plight and that could just come across as mean. Also do be aware of other peoples’ “PC” (political correctness) markers — there are some topics that may seem fine to you but a big no-no to others. Try to be aware of these boundaries before trying to generate some laughter. Otherwise, the joke will just fall flat on your face. If you really have to make a joke, in general, avoid touchy topics like weight, religion and money. And making a joke about yourself is usually the safest way to go.

Don’t try too hard to impress.
Ever notice how most of the faux pas you make usually occur when you are trying to get someone to think what a great person you are? One lady was bragging about how her blog was going to be the next big thing, when the person she was talking to turned out to be a published author who had won awards. Call it Murphy’s Law, but maybe there’s this tendency because you are not comfortable with being yourself and all this unease makes you less aware of what you are saying. When you get such moments when you feel like you have no idea what you are talking about or the other party is drifting off, hush and be silent. Spend a few minutes listening to what the other person is saying and try to pick up from there. More likely, people will be impressed that you listened attentively, rather than if you monopolized a conversation with inane babble.